Submarine (2010) Short Review (R)

Note to all foreign filmmakers: Do not start your movie with a blurb specifically directed at Americans with backhanded shots at America’s populace A) being too stupid to have heard of Wales and B) accusations of America invading countries as if to ignore the fact that 9/11 happened… or that we parted ways with Great Britain (of which Wales is most certainly a part of), a country that invaded and looted other countries for centuries, because they not only were oppressive, but @$$holes…. Or that we bailed your @$$es out during WWII or you’d be speaking German right now. And we know where Wales is. The thing is we don’t care because you’re mostly irrelevant.

That being said I was going to have a hard time liking this film  after that intro. And no, I didn’t like it. Wasn’t funny. Was one of the more pretentious indie films I’ve seen in a while. Borrowed heavily from better filmmakers like Wes Anderson. The lead was obnoxious and unsympathetic as was the love interest. I never cared for anyone in the film. The whole thing felt like a car commercial. A predictable waste of your time and an unimportant film. That’s it. That’s my review. Any more would be a waste of typing on a worthless, cliched wannabe’ quirky indie flick. Made my Bottom 10 of the Worst Films of 2011.

Richard Ayoade, you pansy. You suck and so does your movie.

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