Crash! Landen’s Worst 10 Movies of 1977

!977 was far easier for me to name bad films than 1978. Some movies that didn’t quite make the cut: The Amazing Spider-Man, a tTV movie that I loved as a kid even if I knew that they should have had supervillains from the comics to fight Spidey)… The People That Time Forgot, a low budget sequel to a low budget dinosaur classic… And Demon Seed, the movie about a computer sexually assaulting a woman. As weird as that sounds, it doesn’t even come within a country mile of the insanity that is depicted in Eraserhead.

10 Eraserhead  (After debating long and hard… about 4 seconds, I put this on the list over Demon Seed. There are unforgettable images in this, but that’s not always a positive. Probably should be higher… or lower… on the list.)

9 Annie Hall (The movie that beat out Star Wars for Best Picture at the Academy Awards. I can’t see it. While not brain dead, the film is, like many of Woody Allen’s films, just an excuse for the writer/director to express his cynical worldview without having to actually come up with what passes for a story. Instead of writing a story that reveals insight as it moves along. Allen simply turns to the audience and blathers his negativity at the viewers directly. Allen’s hardcore fans must consist of unimaginative gluttons for punishment that like to be preached to by far left wing Hollywood weirdos… The guy hooked up with his DAUGHTER. Yeesh.Probably should be higher… or lower… on the list.)


8 Shock Waves (Not without merit. It’s bad, but it has some things going for it. It’s moody and has a good cast even if they are poorly utilized.)

7 Orca (One of the numerous inferior water based terrors that followed in the mighty wake of ‘Jaws’. If you know a vengeful Killer Whale is out to get you. STAY AWAY FROM THE OCEAN. It’s not that hard.)

6 The Hills Have Eyes (Has more in common with Wes Craven’s awful but highly lauded ‘Last House On The Left’ than it does with his low budget winners like ‘A Nightmare On Elm Street’ and ‘Swamp Thing’.)

5 The Gauntlet (You don’t know how much it hurts me to put this one on the list, but it is THAT BAD.Probably should be higher… or lower… on the list. Had a nice little Frank Frazetta poster, though.)

4 Kingdom of the Spiders (A Shatner classic, but a bad movie about slow moving killer tarantulas.)

3 Empire of the Ants (Unintentionally funny with terrible story, acting and FX.)

2 Exorcist II: The Heretic (As good as the original was, this one is its polar opposite in just about every way. Probably should be higher… or lower… on the list.)

1 Tentacles (Not a movie so much as filmed non sequitur scenes edited together in random order. Maybe the low point of film in the 70s where big name stars were just taking the cash in a C-level disaster/nature attacks/exploitation film with no production values and apparently no script. Anyone who thinks the shark in Jaws looked fake should check out this trained Killer Whale vs giant Cephalopod climax. Probably should be higher… or lower… on the list. Oh wait this is my #1… That’s about right.)

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4 Responses to “Crash! Landen’s Worst 10 Movies of 1977”

  1. Crash! Landen Says:

    Yeah, most people here (not all of course) respect the wild critters like the dolphins and the like. I’m not a big fan of wild animal captivity unless they’re in parks/etc instead of cages or small confinements, but there are some benefits in some cases depending on the animal.
    It’s preferable to see them in the wild. I think the people that ‘work’ with captive animals like Killer whales think that they’re doing good work. But occasionally you get those accidents that happen, like what happened (was it ) last year (?).
    I think some of these movies may do opposite of what you think, though, if people believe what they see in movies. The shark in Jaws 4, for instance, was not only vengeful but could swim faster than an airplane AND had the power of precognition. When the would be targets left town, the shark was there waiting for them when they landed. If a vengeful , supersonic shark with metal powers won’t keep you as far away from them as possible, then nothing will.
    The octopus in ‘Tentacles’ was so fast of a swimmer that he appeared to be being pulled behind a powerboat.
    And to get it back to killer whales, even when Richard Harris KNEW that Orca was out to get him and him SPECIFICALLY, he continued to present himself dangerously close to the water. It’s my theory, this particular Orca had mind powers also… Or Richard Harris’ character was just written really stupidly.

  2. Just watched that YouTube video, aka “Shark Taste Test.”

    Some captive orcas are more dangerous than the wild ones because of the unnatural conditions they’re forced to live in. Many of us in WA are VERY protective of our wild orcas, especially because of the ones who’ve been taken captive and made to dance for food.

  3. LIke how you put the movie posters with your descriptions.

    It’s sad that so many animals are portrayed as violent or murderous when they’re not. The orca movie should have never happened. Many people believe they’re violent and dangerous when they’re actually strong and playful. Their behavior gets misinterpreted thanks to Hollywood sensationalism.

    • Crash! Landen Says:

      Thanks…

      Well, Hollywood surely is exploitative, but generally it’s for story purposes. I do think most people can distinguish between reality and movies. Animals are used for horror subjects because it’s generally cheap/ the filmmakers have access to them/ etc… BUT… Wild animals are wild animals and in general, it’s a wise idea to give any wild animal, especially of the larger variety, a wide berth.

      Coincidentally I watched these fools.. I mean ‘experts’ yesterday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pjbH5OuBc4&feature=related

      For another example of why wild animals should be left alone: the documentary Grizzly Man. It’s a good movie, too.

      And I would strongly recommend NOT swimming with wild Killer Whales any time soon. Just because they’re somewhat intelligent doesn’t mean they won’t drown or eat you. Even pets bite.

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