Crash! Landen’s Worst 10 Movies of 1984

This was difficult and it’ll probably get much harder the further I go back. There are some movies that I’ve seen that I liked at the time, but it’s been so long since I’ve seen them, I can’t really make call on whether the movie was good or if it sucked. Sometimes they don’t hold up. Hmm. I tried to quit picking on so many of the obviously bad movies made by the ‘little guy’ and tried to concentrate on adding (some of) the big studio mistakes. Anyway…. Here are (more than) 10 I came up with that even at the time didn’t make the greatest of impressions upon me.

(Bumped) Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (Again, this was tough. I debated between films like Police Academy, Cannonball Run II, Revenge of the Nerds and  this. All of these films are certainly flawed, yet watchable; but Trek III was such a letdown from the brilliant ‘Wrath Of Kahn’ that I originally went with it – it’s now ‘bumped’. The other three low brow comedies at least did what they were supposed to do; made me laugh. The Search For Spock just bored the heck out of me.)

Creature (I didn’t quite have the heart to put this one on the list. The story behind the making of it seems like a better story than the movie itself, though.

10 Moscow On The Hudson (If the setting had remained in Russia, it might have gone somewhere interesting. Reality is harsh, though, and for some reason they decided to portray the US… or New York more specifically… as the home of a vast number of cliches.)

9 C.H.U.D. (Didn’t see it when it came out; I saw it a few years later, but I don’t remember much about it other than Daniel Stern was in the film and having not looked it up, I’m not even sure about that. I sort of enjoyed it as a kid when I finally saw it, but I’m betting it wouldn’t hold up now…)

8 Breakin’ (Don’t remember much about this one, but that may be because I locked its memory in a dark part of my brain that will never be opened lest I go insane. I think I was forced by burgeoning anglo-rap fans to watch this on cable a few years after it was released .

7 Repo Man {I know this a ‘CULT CLASSIC (TM), but I hated this movie. Lots of high school level anarchist philosophy in this one. And it doesn’t hold up well.}

6 Sheena (Well, Tanya Roberts was really hot at least…)

5 Rhinestone (Yet another failed attempt by Stallone to star in a genre that he just can’t pull off.)

4 Night of the Comet ( As bad as this film is, I always thought it was over-rated.)

3 Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (The first time there was a bit of ‘continuity’ in the series. Jason, who wasn’t the villain in the series until the first sequel, had gotten his trademark hockey mask in the third installment and had it again in this one. That’s about all I have for this one. I believe this one starred a Corey, but this is yet another film that in that dark forbidden part of my brain that I won’t reopen…)

2 Supergirl (Helen Slater… Wow. But the movie still sucked and I mean this movie REALLY sucked. The best thing about this film is that it DIDN’T create a wormhole that would suck the rest of the solar system into.

1  Dune (I know someone that actually likes this movie…. Really…. It’s amazing the number of recognizable faces in this and that it’s directed by David Lynch who still seemed to be channeling his inner Eraserhead in this. There is some hilariously disgusting imagery in this, but the movie is just too boring and weird for its own good. The visuals aren’t holding up very well, either. There is a redub on youtube that I found downright entertaining, though, that I posted below… Warning: profanities uttered if you’re easily offended).

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