Crash! Landen’s Worst Films of 1985

Movies that didn’t quite make the list: The family kids’ film Explorers. The awfully low budget King Solomon’s Mines. Teen Wolf… Sure it’s watchable (especially Boof), but it’s still bad. And it was still a hit… Vampire Hunter D. Maybe the most egregiously overrated anime of all time. They just made this up as they went along. So, here’s my Bottom 10 with minimal explanation. I do hate picking on the little guys, but I think these are deserving.

(Bumped)  Brewster’s Millions (A COMPLETE waste of 2 VERY talented comedians. Nothing more than a consumerist fantasy).

10 Just One of The Guys (One of those 80s low budget flicks that is essentially a tit-tillation flick presenting itself as a pro-feminist film. God, I love the 80s. Joyce Hyser comes off like an effeminent Ralph Machio, if I’m not just saying the same thing twice. She does reveal her moneymakers in the film, however, which is kind of  what the film is pretending to take a stance against.  It is slightly watchable for such a crap story, but only because of Hyser and a barely nubile Sherilyn Fenn.)

9 Gymkata (What?!)

8 To Live & Die In LA (One of the worst and most obvious stand in blunders ever to appear on film. In his desperation to prove everything is corrupt and pointless, Friedkin only manages to make a case for his film being pointless and stupid.)

7 Once Bitten (Jim Carrey definitely paid his dues.This makes Aniston’s role in Lephrecahn look like a good career choice.)

6 A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (The gay sequel. There are no other words for it.)

5 Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (Last movie this director worked on, I believe),

4 Death Wish 3 (Bronson should’ve used some sense and let it end with the first.)

3 Red Sonja (Yet another stellar outing by Nielsen.)

2 Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend (A low budget William Katt vehicle. Do you need more?)

1 Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (Thankfully I only saw this on cable at a friend’s house years later. There are probably more deserving bigger budget films (they should know better) than this one. There weren’t a whole lot of ‘mainstream’ films that featured blacks and other minorities at the time as the central characters, so I can concede the film on that point, but the reason it’s on my list is the sheer cheese value and the fact that it’s one of those ‘fad’ films (breakdancing).  It is  forever tied (embarrassingly) to a certain fad and a certain era. Maybe I should make a list of the worst fad fims of all time. 1984 is next, though….


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