Crash! Landen’s Worst Movies Of 1987

Probably could have gone Bottom 25 for 1987…
Movies that very easily could be inserted somewhere in the Bottom 10: Light of Day, Real Men. Maid to Order, The Gate, House II: The Second Story, Masters of the Universe. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Switching Channels and Teen Wolf, Too…. Now, on with the Top10:
(Bumped) Dragnet (A very disappointing film for the cast and crew. That Aykroyd loved the original show makes you wonder why he would sully the name so badly. This was before Hanks stopped taking any part that came his way.)
10 (Tie) Date With An Angel (An embarassing effort even by 1980s low budget comedy fantasies. It does feature two of screendom’s alltime most beautiful actresses/bodies: Pheobe Cates and Emanuelle Bèart. That may save this from complete worthlessness.)
10 (Tie) Made In Heaven (Just a vert dull film.)
10 (Tie) Jaws: The Revenge (So bad, Richard Jeni made an entire comedy bit on talking about nothing but watching this at 4 in the morning. Michael Caine actually said about this one “Sometimes you do it for the money.”
9 Dark Tower (Had nothing to do with Stephen King’s popular book/comic book/soon to be movie series. Maybe Jenny Agutter’s worst film.)
8 Steel Dawn (One of the Road Warrior’s many inferior imitators. I guess Swayze needed the money).
7 Mannequin (Kim Cattrell was really hot back in the day, so that might be this one’s saving grace.)
6 Hollywood Shuffle (Funny, but awful).
5 The Stepfather (A low budget braindead horror film that avoids logic at all costs).
4 Rent-A-Cop (Liza Minelli. ‘Nuff said).
3 Flowers in the Attic (Would be unwatchable without Kristy Swanson. She should’ve had a bigger career.)
2 Black Widow (Just a poorly made film with at least one talented actress attached).
1 Cherry 2000 (What’s shocking is that I believe Griffith won an Oscar for Working Girl in ’87.)

2 Responses to “Crash! Landen’s Worst Movies Of 1987”

  1. Leonard: Part 6. Ishtar is another popular choice but it’s the freaking Lost Weekend compared to the aforementioned Bill Cosby comedy. That should definitely be on the list. It’s not just one of the worst films of 1987, it’s EASILY one of the worst films of all time. At least the Room, Plan 9 and Troll 2 have some fun in their badness, Leonard is just an unpleasant, unfunny, badly-written and acted failed comedy that makes no sense and really just leaves one feeling… kinda sick.

    • Crash! Landen Says:

      Those are pretty good choices. I haven’t seen either in quite some time, but Leonard Part 6 didn’t seem to offend me as as it did you. Yeah, it’s a bad film, but I guess I tolerated it because it was Bill Cosby, Mr. Nice Guy… And Ishtar… I agree it’s a bad film, but not to the extent for which it got panned. Again, working from memory, it was all over the place and the writers couldn’t seem to figure out what to do with Hoffman and Beatty, but I think it was just a matter of ‘piling on’ with critics… Audiences just found it boring, which it was… But I don’t think you could compare that to say, the opening of Steel Dawn, where Swayze is standing on his head… meditating or something… ON HIS HEAD… until some sort of ‘sand-people’, who have been buried under the sand while he meditates (or something)… ON HIS HEAD… leap out and attack. Martial arts/sword fight ensues… on a hill in the desert. I mean, that’s EPIC.

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