Finally. The Last of the 90s. 1991 was a bumper crop for awful movies that still managed to be watchable. There are some movies that would cause me permanent mental and physical damage if I had to sit through them again. Haute Tension, Meet The Applegates, November, Girl Interrupted and a number of others come to mind. For the most part, my 1990 list doesn’t contain any movies like that. As bad as these movies are, they do have redeemable moments like the ‘flying CD of Death’ in ‘I Come In Peace’. It had memorable lines, too, such as when the alien spouts the title line and Dolph Lundgren responds with something like “But you’ll go in pieces.” It’s not Shakespeare, but I haven’t seen that movie since the early 90s and I still remember that line.
Movies that could have joined the 1990 ‘Worst’ party include Fire Birds (a Nic Cage Top Gun, but with helicopters), Cadillac Man, Clive Barker’s Nightbreed (which was a setup for a movie series, not an actual movie), the bad but very entertaining movie The Guyver, Mr. Destiny, Look Who’s Talking Too, and even the disappointing sequel to one of my favorite films growing up: Predator 2.
Here are the Worst of 1990:
(Bumped) The Godfather Part III (A ridiculous follow-up to 2 really good films… That helicopter ‘whack’ comes to mind.)
10 Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (Actually enjoyed this one to some degree and I’m not a fan of this series and never really have been. I think they were trying to get creative taking Jason away from the Crystal Lake setting. It was kind of like the Loch Ness Monster in Idaho. Still not a good film.)
9 I Come in Peace (“I must break you”. Whoops. Sorry. Wrong movie.)
8 The First Power (I really wanted to like this one. I was hoping for Lou Diamond Phillip’s to make a bigger splash than he did. He wasn’t the typical Hollywood lead, obviously.)
7 Frankenstein Unbound (Way too low budget for its own good.)
6 Captain America (Hooo00000…. This should probably be my #1. It really deserves it. Surprising that it had some well known actors in it.)
5 Cry-Baby (It was on HBO and there was nothing else on. John Waters films are not for me.)
4 Spaced Invaders (I lied about all of these still being watchable. I remember this one being pretty obnoxious, and I usually like this sort of thing. A zany comedy without the laughs.)
3 Robot Jox (I had friends that loved this movie. Didn’t change my opinion of it.)
2 Wild At Heart (David Lynch channels John Waters directing a violent film. The results are to be expected….)
1 Blue Steel (Just a funny movie. Poor career choice for Jamie Lee Curtis. She should’ve stuck to great horror flicks.)