Crash! Landen’s Worst 10 Movies of the Decade

Is this a definitive list of the Worst 10 Films made in the last 10 years (the 00s)? No. It’s the Worst 10 that I’ve seen. I pride myself on being able to spot the dogs and avoiding them, from seeing the trailers or knowing a bit about the film-makers. I’m sure there are movies that are FAR WORSE than those on my list (I shudder to think about that)… First I have to give Special Mention to 3 movies that were made here in Pensacola. The first is a film called ‘Sharkman that came out in 2001 (I believe). It is an ABOMINATION of a movie and would EASILY make my Top 3 Worst of All Time, but since I do not believe it was distributed (or spewed) anywhere but here in the ‘Cola, I can’t put it on the list (as much as I’d like to). Another film nearly as mind blowingly bad is Dylan O’Leary’s Scouts, which much like Sharkman was only inflicted upon Pensacola residents (as far a s I know), so I have to leave it off my list.  The third is ‘This Darkness:The Vampire Virus’ which is not nearly as bad as the other two and is also made by Pensacola’s director/auteur O’Leary. I actually enjoyed that one on some level, despite the movie’s obvious flaws….

Hmmm… Maybe, I need to make a list of the Best/Worst movies filmed in Pensacola… There’s been some good ones with ties here (Jaws, Jaws II, Truman Show, etc), not to mention Kevin Wheatley’s Beach Party At tHe Threshold of Hell.Anyway, on to the list, where you’ll probably be shocked to know Battlefield Earth didn’t make the cut (It’s #17). Other movies that nearly missed out: ‘The Fog’ remake, the troubled Wes Craven flick ‘Cursed’, The Order, the incomprehensible ‘Man-Thing’, Rob Zombie’s ‘The Devil’s Rejects’, and the appalling ‘Street fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li’. Geez. You’d almost have to be TRYING to make films worst than thses babies… Anyway, without further comment:

10 Earth vs. the Spider
9 Darkness
8 Freddy vs. Jason
7 The Invisible
6 Haute Tension (High Tension)
5 Boogeyman
4 Domino
3 The Wicker Man
2 Max Payne
1 The Spirit

Not surprisingly, there are more than a few horror movies on the list. That may just be my own penchant for subjecting myself to absolutely disgustingly bad drek in hopes of finding even mediocre horror flicks… I love horror/monster/supernatural/chiller/ghost  tales and there are so few good ones out there.



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