Crash Landen’s 10 Worst Movies of 2005

The lists continue… Movies that were just good enough to stay off of the list: The Ring 2, Dark Water, Mirrormask, Saw II… This was a year that saw an abundance of mediocre movies.

Venom (Bumped and forgotten.)
#10 The Jacket
#9 Wolf Creek (Had an outstanding first act, and detoriated into the land of Brain-dead Torture-porn. It’s true that it’s Based on True Events as much as a fictional story that I write about someone being murdered in Central Park. I could then claim that because there probably has been someone murdered in Central Park at some point in time, then consequently my story is based on True Events).
#8 Elektra (It DOES have Jennifer Garner in it, I’ll give it that, but this is a girl empowerment movie, so if you’re a 12 year old girl, you might find this pretty intense entertainment).
#7 The Fog (I refuse to believe that John Carpenter produced this remake. He’s lost it).
#6 Cursed (Production on this was stopped and then started after about a year or two. One of the leads’ hair style changes midway through the movie. That’s explained by the fact that he was bitten by a werewolf. Not kidding).
#5 The Devil’s Rejects (I always say, I am a HUGE White Zombie fan… I like Rob’s art, too, BUT… Rob needs to learn how to empathize with the protagonist. Or maybe that’s the problem. He thinks the ‘monsters’ in his movies are the good guys. He is able to film human suffering believably on occasion, though, if that’s your thing).
#4 Boogeyman (Yet, another horror movie on my list… Disappointing. Cheaply rendered CGI villain. Bad acting. Bad direction. Terrible story).
#3 Man-Thing (Fairly unwatchable. As a longtime fan of the original comics and the characters appearances in everything from the Micronauts to Marvel Team-Up and Howard The Duck, I STAND APPALLED BY THIS ABOMINATION!!!).
#2 The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari (Even more appalling than Man Thing is this bathroom deposit. Nothing to say about it other than watch the original. This is an insult to amateur artists everywhere.)
#1 Domino  (This one WAS unwatchable about a ‘model turned bounty hunter’. I think this was the first movie that I ever walked out on before the credits rolled. I couldn’t care less how it ends).

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