After coming up with my list of Best and Worst Movies of 2009, I went back and looked at the movies that I’ve seen in the past 10 years and aven further back into the past. I figured I’d post the movies that I’ve seen that I liked and disliked. My Best movies are just to my own tastes and likes. ‘Recommendations’ if you want to go that far. As I always say I am not a ‘Professional’ critic (and most ‘Professional’ critics aren’t professional, either), but critics just come down to an individual’s opinion, anyway. I try to be objective for the most part. Saying all of that, this will mostly just be lists without a whole lot of commentary… I feel the internet doesn’t have enough extraneous material, already. 🙂
My List of The Worst, though, are outright WARNINGS. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you. Please keep in mind that I had never walked out of a film (or even stopped a DVD) before the credits rolled… Until 2008. I ended up walking out 3 times in 2008. Here are my 10.
Bumped… THE INCREDIBLE HULK (This had some good things about it, but overall I didn’t like it. It was written like a BAD Hulk comic book and the effects were of the ‘cheap CGI’ variety. It was yet another movie where the CGI artists have no concept of weight/speed/mass/ physics/you name it. The Hulk was flipping and bouncing around like a Spider-Monkey and climbing up walls. That’s not the Hulk. The Hulk also kept performing battle-moves that you know were going to be incorporated into the video game tie-in. Yet another comic book movie failure. But what do I know? I liked Ang Lee’s Hulk.)
Bumped… SEVEN POUNDS (Predicted the entire movie from the trailer. My forecast was verified within 2 minutes of the movie… I like Will Smith. I think most people do. He seems like a likeable guy. I just wish 2 things about Will Smith. That he would actually ‘act’ in a movie instead of playing Will Smith in a movie. I also wish someone would help him pick better movies to be in. It’s the director, Will! The director is the moist important thing about a movie’s success!)
10… STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS (Not a completely horrible movie. They had a ‘strong female character’ and some decent animation. But I swear when the credits finally did roll, it looked as if the entire audience started to awake from a long winter slumber.)
#9 Cold Souls (It’s really not nice to rip off Charlie Kaufman movies so blatantly without giving proper writing credits.)
#8 QUARANTINE (This was a pointless movie in the Cannibal Holocaust vein. Poorly written, acted, and no scares… Watch ‘[Rec]’ if you must. The original, instead of this.)
#7 SEMI-PRO (Needed more laughs. I like Will Ferrell, but this was a boring movie. First of 2 on my list from Will.)
#6 STEP BROTHERS (Way too mean spirited… Could have done without seeing the sack, among other things. Made me laugh occasionally, though. I just wouldn’t recommend it.)
#5 NICK AND NORAH’S INFINITE PLAYLIST (I liked the 2 stars enough, but I wasn’t the target audience for this one; I like good movies).
#4 THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE (I didn’t walk out of this one but I should have. Would have made one of the lesser TV episodes)
#3 Franklyn (Looks like it was made for the SyFy channel. The pacing and lack of anything actually happening kills anything good about the film, except for Eva Green. It couldn’t make her less hot.)
#2 MAX PAYNE (The name was appropriate. One of the worst paced movies I’ve ever seen.. and some terrible acting, but I still blame the director.)
Okay, that looked kind of cool didn’t it? I thought a little shakey, but how bad could it really be? All of those critics that are panning it, just don’t like anything ‘fun, right? Well, whoever cut this trailer together should have directed the movie….
#1 THE SPIRIT (I don’t even KNOW the extent of how bad this movie is. I only got halfway through it before I walked out). It’s in my Top 10 All Time Worst Movies that I’ve ever watched. And just to emphasize that, please understand what I just said. I didn’t see the whole thing and based on what I HAVE seen, I know that this is one of my 10 Worst Movies of ALL TIME (and I’ve seen thousands of movies). After lowering all expectations, I was still shocked by JUST HOW BAD THIS WAS. Sam Jackson as the Octopus, plenty of world class beauties throughout and ‘comics legend’ Frank Miller directing. Seemed like a slam dunk, but apparently Miller had never even SEEN a movie before. I’m saddened by how something associated with the late Will Eisner (the Spirit’s creator) turned out so horribly.
I’ll post my Best 20 of 2008, next. Yes, 20.