Crash! Landen’s Best/Worst Movies of 2009

Note: This is a revised list… Revised MULTIPLE times (I’m catching up on 2009). I expanded the Worst List to 10 (from 3) and BEYOND. I had forgotten how many bad ones there were in 2009. Still not the ‘Worst’ year ever, though. And as far as ‘bad’ movies go, several of these are easily in the ‘watchable’ range.

I didn’t watch as many movies as I normally see in 2009 as in other years for many different reasons. I still haven’t seen movies like Up In The Air and Precious… These are the best and worst THAT I SAW (extra emphasis there). First, the Worst 10.

UPDATE: Okay, I’ve more than caught up on the abominations of 2009. The Worst list is overflowing with liquid cinematic crap that I can’t even get one of the most obnoxious chick flicks I’ve ever been forced to watch into my Top 10. I’m actually happy that I could take some of the somewhat watchable yet disappointing films like Wolverine off the list, though.

There are major shakeups on both lists….

A 100 minute semi-funny time waster.

Bumped… THE HANGOVER (This did have some laughs, though).
Bumped… PUBLIC ENEMIES (MAJOR disappointment with the talent involved)
Bumped… TERMINATOR:SALVATION (The ruining of a once great franchise continues.)
Bumped… X-MEN: WOLVERINE (I like Jackman, but this was on par with X-3.)
Bumped… HARRY POTTER & THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (I only liked the third installment in this series…)
Bumped… Heartless (A good looking mess of a film that goes all over the place in terms of tone. And tragically predictable. If you’re thinking about renting this, go watch Angel Heart instead. You will thank me later.)
Bumped… Julie & Julia ( A chick flick in the most nightmarish way that casts insults at half the audience throughout the film.)
(Bumped) British film Malice In Wonderland (Is interesting for about 3 minutes, then it begins to work on one’s patience to tolerate obnoxious and/or stupid behavior.)

The Worst 10 begins here:

#10 Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (Werner Herzog… Meet Nicolas Cage. ‘Nuff said.)
#9 Red Riding Trilogy Part III:1983 (Okay they say trilogy, but there are just as many questions at the end of this as any episode of Lost. The story started interestingly in the first installment and got more and more confused, hokey and politically motivated as the trilogy progressed… or regressed.)
#8 THE UNINVITED

#7 GI Joe ( Please see my August Review and 9 Billion other GI:Joe Movie Posters by clicking on the poster above)

#6 Push (Maybe the biggest disappointment of the year for me…)

#5 Whatever Works (The movie didn’t.)

#4 Don’t Look Back (But they’re both hot.)

#3 After.Life (Probably written by a jingle writer attempting to write a script for an ironic supernatural serial killer ghost story in one night of heavy drinking and drug use after watching the Sixth Sense and My Girl. It’s that straightforward.)

#2  Angels & Demons (Hokiest ending to a movie in quite a few years.)

#1 Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Lyi (An absolute abomination of a movie… I was able to sit through the entire film, though unlike the previous year’s ‘The Spirit’, “Max Payne’,  and ‘Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist’… Maybe it was Kreuk. My ‘favorite’ scene is when the title character leaves home, but not before tearfully thanking EACH AND EVERY ONE of her servants. Possibly one of the most unnecessary scenes ever filmed.

I had to revise my list after seeing  ‘The Road’, ‘Sherlock Holmes’,’Crazy  Heart’, and now ‘A Serious Man’. I could revise this again, who knows… So  I’ve bumped ‘Zombieland’ AND the Star Trek reboot… After Funny People, my List reads  Star Trek, Zombieworld and The  Hurt Locker (currently at #15)  Yup. The one that has all of the Oscar buzz didn’t even make my Top 10. It’s still a great movie, but I didn’t think it was the ‘masterpiece’ that it’s being called. I also recently watched The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus… I liked it, but it won’t make the list….

TOP 10 BEST MOVIES Without Too Much Comment, except to say I guess this was the year of 3D (All movies on my lists will eventually be found in my Reviews Category).

Bumped…. Watchmen

Bumped… Funny People

Bumped… A Serious Man (Revision that didn’t make my 10)

Bumped… District 9

Bumped… Splinterheads (Tickled my particular funny bone.)

Bumped… Fantastic Mr Fox

(Bumped) Inglourious Basterds (A good Tarantino flick, but not quite as good as his 1990s works.)

#10 Tales From The Script (Documentary)

#9 The Road

#8 Sherlock Holmes

#7 Moon

#6 A Christmas Carol

#5 Crazy Heart

#4 A Prophet (An amazing film… I only have Avatar above this bcause of the technical achievments.

#3 Fish Tank ( I should just repeat what I said for A Prophet, here. Fish Tank is a really smart film and I’m sure cost a fraction of what was spent on Avatar. This had a FAR better story, as did ‘A Prophet’, but the work put into a really good blockbuster like Avatar has to be admired… Well, it doesn’t HAVE to be, I guess, but I respect the work and time put in. It showed onscreen.)

#2 Avatar

#1 Up ( It was a tough decision between the Top 2… I only give the nod to “Up” because I thought that it was better in characterization and overall story. Both are stunning films, though; Avatar probably more so. But I felt pound for pound, ‘Up’ is just a better movie.)

 

Comments welcomed…

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